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Boy Issues Advice - Cheating Boyfriend

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Dear Linzi,
I've just found out that my cheating boyfriend has had a fling with a girl from another town. I feel stupid because he said he was studying at the college library and was really meeting her. He says it's over but I don't believe him as he has lied to me already. What should I do? Let him off? Get revenge?

Sassy Linzi
Get your mates round to think up some really spiteful things to do to get revenge! How about cress seeds on his bedroom carpet or leave fish to rot on his car engine (smelly!). Bummer is that these would land you in a great deal of trouble if you actually did them but it's great fun to think about doing these things in your head instead!

Momma Linzi
A leopard never changes his spots, so dump him as soon as you can and never, ever believe that "it meant nothing" to him. There's plenty more fish in the sea.

Straight Talking Linzi
No-one likes being lied to, and here are some steps to get you back on your feet.

Get angry, have a cry and then get over it. Lingering on unpleasant thoughts are only going to make you feel bad and stop you from moving on. Him cheating was 100% his idea and 0% to do with you, however much you would like to punish yourself by thinking it was your entire fault.

Start flirting with other guys and get your self-confidence back with the dating game. Not all guys are cheats!

If you really, really think the relationship is worth hanging on to, you are going to have to talk with him about how to deal with building trust again. Calmly tell him how his actions made you feel, how you would like him to behave and then give him time to respond. It is also worth spelling out to him what the consequence of his actions will be if he does it again, (like you will dump him). This way, you have given some ground-rules for the relationship and if he chooses to break them, that's his problem! Deal with a cheating boyfriend harshly - he deserves no favors - it was his fault and don't let him tell you different.

 

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